And that's basically it. But I have a question in response to your question. Which is, why do you want to date younger women , specifically? Why is that what you want right now, as soon as you're out of a divorce? What's wrong with women your own age, or women just a few years younger than you? I don't mean to shame you. Of course, younger women are great. There's the energy, the enthusiasm, and so on. Vulnerability and impressionability are often more attractive than cynicism. A lot of guys get criticized for dating younger people, and I don't mean to criticize you outright.
There's no shame in any consensual relationship between legal adults. I just want you to engage in a little self-examination here to make sure you're going to get what you want out of this. Young people aren't stupid, exactly. It's not like they have fewer IQ points. But people in their early twenties of both sexes are, of course, immature — unformed. Either too sure of themselves or totally neurotic and insecure, or swinging rapidly between those extremes.
Full of misguided enthusiasm and misplaced anger. And, frequently, unsure about what they want. You can have a great relationship of a certain sort with this kind of person. You're probably way better in bed than her peers, just because, well, you've grabbed a boob before and you know how it's done. You can take her out to a nice restaurant and you know what wine to order, and what to do with the salad fork.
All of that fun adult stuff. In return, you get the kind of bright, shiny energy that humans your age just don't have anymore. You get the starry-eyed wonder and the giddiness. But what you're not going to get, most probably, is a relationship with the kind of depth you'll get with someone your own age. Someone who's twenty just won't have any idea what it's like to deal with the stresses of a real job, or the ravages of aging, or the complexities of family.
The Pros And Cons Of Dating A Younger Woman
They won't have done battle with big human realities and discarded some of their dreams like you have. It'll be a pretty simple relationship. There's nothing wrong with that. If you want a little harmless fun, have the harmless fun. But if you're hurting right now, because, y'know, divorce is pretty bad , sleeping with young hot chicks might not be what you need.
It might just make you feel more lonely. You might need someone who can meaningfully support you. And, while they can be pretty good, unfortunately, young women are just people. Nobody is the perfect sex goddess who's going to change your life. You can't drink from the fountain of youth and restore yourself forever by taking that barista on a weekend trip to Cartagena. Take my relationship with Anna. I have zero bad things to say about Anna. She was intelligent, affectionate, attentive, and took everything I said seriously.
Suzzana, whatever you think is also inconsequential! It is just a mere personal opinion without any sociological or scientific fact! My comnent is based on series of books written by scientist that are well respected on the academia and based on actual research. My other source that I did mentioned comes from the Bible. If you do not agree with science and research nor me or any other educated person cannot have a civilized conversation about this topic! After reading many of the comments here, I see that many young women have married ridiculously older men.
Whatever reasons led to this, my heart goes out to them; once they have evolved and their psychological issues have passed, there could be many problems and regrets. I don't think its normal for a woman to want a man more than 10 years older, at the most. I also think that once society deems it more acceptable, women will start to admit that younger men are very appealing. Sexually, youth is appealing to everyone - including women.
I had older-man fantasies in my youth because I had issues with my own father. When I tried it, I was quite turned off, sad to say. Unless the older man looks like James Bond, it is not too appealing for a woman. I personally have never been attracted to anyone more than 6 years my senior. Maybe, had I been dirt poor, I would have forced myself to marry a much older man but since I did not have to, I did not. This article is rubbish! Woman by nature is attracted to older men. By nature woman is hypergamous, tend to marry upward, and monogamous. While men by nature tends to be hypogamous, marries downward, and polygamous.
Since women and society tend to force monogamy there is the tendency of serial monogamy. Serial monogamy usually goes hand in hand with something called menopause, in which women tend to lose interest in sex and men tend to look for another women and there comes the divorce. Marrying a younger women in a worst case scenario it can end up during sex by the young women giving the man a heart attack, and that, is dying happy! I date women 20 years younger than me because ive kept myself well. One of the main reasons is men my age know how to be a man.
Younger men struggle with this today. They dont take charge, they ask too many questions, they arent humble, and in lots of cases they arent tough. The list goes on and on. Its not about money. No man wants to date a woman that wants him for his money. The attraction is his hustle and drive. The woman i date now is great. Shes funny, cool, and is interesting.
Shes not some 22 year old club chick. Been with my husband for 13 years we are 29 years apart he still grade in bed he's 64 years old great sex Great Adventures we love each other for a compatible that's all there is to it God has blessed our marriage also and again sex is great! Somehow I've fallen in love with my 54 yo neighbor I will say he is awesome in bed, very mentally, physically and emotionally attentive to my children and I.
Hello, I am 28 and my husband We have been together for almost 4 years so far. We have a son. He was single when we met, simply he hadn't found a soulmate. When we met he was unemployed because the factory where he had worked for 10 years had closed. So I find offensive pretending that all women dating older men do it for money.
I found him sweeter and more reliable, that's all. By time he started to work again. With the son he has far more energy than me, this is a thing that surprised me very much: A man in his 40s is still strong and pretty young but at the same time not immature and superficial like younger men. I think that men in their 40s are better marriage-material, and not just for money, oh no!
That's the last why. Just look at how younger people are: I am tired of everyone thinking if you are only with an older man for money. I am stl supportive. He has a farm he loves and I have a house in town. His farm is left to his daughters so I will be in my house when he passes.
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I love him more than the men I have dated who were younger. He is a widower who never went out on his wife. Many older men have better morals than younger men who are lying womanizer not all but many. My man is the sweetest man I know and I totally trust him.. Wow i just wanted to scream when i was reading all the disses this person was saying about older men. Older men are so awesome most of them anyway there are your few that are not still as grown up but they have so much knowledge and so do older women.
My choice has always been a oh he is much to old for you Man Older men and younger women can connect way better than same age couples. They know exactly what the other one needs emotionally. When you have your younger man still trying to prove himself in life the wives get neglected a lot in her emotional needs she is ready for that way earlier in life so being with her more established man he is definitely ready to love her like the crazy passion that she needs and deserves in life. She doesn't have to wait years for that attention she usually is so craving and then have that same age man get tired of her.
Like a lot of men do being married to a woman closer in age. I just know it works out that way a lot. I always prefer a big age gap like this person just sat there and shot down! That's my peace today. I'm not have an affair I'm married to an older man. We had a 2 year old daughter together. She is strong, smart, and beautiful. Older men can produce amazing children. This article is dumb. I met a year-old when I was He was able to provide financial security and a certain lifestyle. We broke up as friends 3 years later because he was settling down and I wanted to keep exploring, being social and crazy etc.
I soon met a locally known man and we are now together — I 29, he Though he is much older than my husband and poor as dirt, he is more energetic, virile and strong. More even than myself! We are more suited to each other. I think the above article shows limited understanding of age-gap relationships, though overall it's fairly truthful, just shallow. I love men for who they are but do acknowledge I simply feel more attracted to older men. It's simply a physical thing — I like the rugged skin, crow's feet and silver hair. I believe that can be true the other way around as well.
We don't have daddy or daughter issues and people who care can see we are equals. Another thing that's worth mentioning is that most people don't consider that it's not easy to emotionally satisfy an older man. Most people will say "She's getting off easy because he must just be crazy about her and never complain. It's much more a challenge for the woman than people think but I believe worth it, for me at least.
I am 19 years Old Currently talking to a 29yr old. We Have A great Connection. We talk all The Time He supports me and he's here for me when I need him to be.
He has a sense Of Humor Like me. I am 28 with a 63 year old who treats me very amazing met him after my husband died , very very good sex ,he also is very caring because he ensure that I have everything,give me financial advice so I can have my own business like him.. And I love him for these little things. I am 35 and married to a 60 year old. We have 3 beautiful girls together ages 15, 11 and 5. However, I find these days he is not interested in sex, love making etc. I am starting to become frustrated, angry and resentful. Becsuse I don't want to hurt him I find myself masterbating but I am generally unsatisfied.
He is a great provider, father etc. I'm having a guy which is 49 and I'm We met through online apps and he told me he have three kids grown up.
Why Single Men Love Growing Old
Well I like him at first and started to get to know him well by checking his Facebook and Instagram. After a week plus, I found out he talk to another girl which he want a long term relationship with younger girls but he don't want to involve any kids if I'm pregnant or not. He doesn't want kids anymore as he have three kids. Does that mean he just want someone who is going to be together just partner and not lifetime partner.
Hi Wendy, it sounds like he is not able to trust you, which is weird because you guys have been dating for about six months now, and he wants you to move in with him. It is likely that he is married with wife and a son, and doesn't want his wife to find out. You should do your own investigation and find out more about the man you intend to move in with. I am a 33 years old woman blessed with a wonderful career. Life had been blissful so far though I did face a lot of challenges including a failed long distance relationship with a man I wanted to spend my entire life with.
He was two years younger to me, not matured and was not ready to have bigger commitments. Leaving him was indeed the most painful decision I had to take. Now, almost after 6 years, I met this man, who's Honestly, he's the sweetest person I've ever come across in my life. He's such a caring, humble, loving, affectionate, and above all treats a woman rightly with much respect. Yes, he's married with three beautiful grown ups but unfortunately is neglected by his wife who doesn't seem to be bothered about his emotional needs anymore. He's very honest to me and have always mentioned about his love for the family although they don't appreciate him.
I adore him so much. Although I do feel guilty for loving him, I can't help myself as the saying goes; Love is totally Blind.. I wonder why did we even meet and share a lot of common things together. Should I proceed or forget.. I am almost 26 and my boyfriend is There are no issues so far. We love spending time together.. Even if it's doing nothing but napping together. We cook for Each other. For me, it's not about daddy issues or finances.
I have always been attracted to older men. I believe I am capable of having a loving relationship with someone who is older. Ridicule has been an issue. Usually by people who dont know us. For those peoe who we consider friends do not care and are happy for us. I married a man 17 years older than I. When we married I was It was his my first marriage his second. I loved the man I married and we were very happy BUT, the last 5 years have been very difficult.
I was warned by my mom about marrying an older man. I only thought about the present. Now, 19 years into our marriage, I'm in the thrawls on menopause and my husband is not as active as he once was. He blames any discourse on my menopause and that I'm not the woman he feel in love with. The bottom line is we all change but if we do it together we have a better chance. My husband cant turn the clock back and I'm to young to be old. I Am 30 years and my husband is 61 I don't have sex with him anymore because he can't do it any more he is sick and I Am in married and I never cheat on him he give me hard time argue control to much abuse I want to divorce but am afride because am a forigne.
I am 45 and my husband is 68 years old but we have the best relationship. He loves mes madly and always want to make me happy in every way. He cares for me as a dad. I love him for who he is. He is divorced with 3 kids, financial stability has been up and down. We both have the same income and at times I have had to pick up the bills when he could not work. I love him because he makes me feel good about my self, he lifts me up and makes me smile, and I do the same for him.
I don't see an age difference until someone refers to him as my dad. I married someone 15 years younger than me. Because I had no children from my first marriage, I felt that I would not have the challenges others do. I think I'm correct. I can take care of her well, and we're both able to settle down and have a family. I'm seeing a man that's 39 years older then me, I am 19, we haven't done anything sexual yet and he has told me he really doesn't want to do anything sexual with me he just loves my company and enjoys the time we spend together We just hang out and have fun and go out on dates and talk about a bunch of random things, stories from the past ect.
He tells me I make him really happy and he also does the same for me I know this may sound terrible to people who don't think this kind of life style is appropriate but don't knock it till you try it I guess haha In life you have to take chances or you'll miss out on a lot!! Even the most negative medical study doesn't come close to using the word "usually". Lol the poll wording is so biased - why does it ask if you'd have an AFFAIR with an older man, instead of whether you'd get into a relationship with one?
The irony is I actually found him more immature than the guy I am currently dating 4 years my senior. I think this article leaves out one important point; if an older man is interested in a woman much younger, surely that says something about his OWN maturity levels? What makes him reject women his own age? Is it really something so superficial as they don't look as hot anymore, or is it something deeper?
Is he unable to keep up with the smart, self-assured mind of a more mature woman, for example? I didn't realise it at the time but, in some ways my ex seemed to enjoy being the one 'in control', by dating a much younger woman. I'm not saying this is always the case but, it's important to look at the other factors in his life to accurately gauge if he is actually an older MAN. Of course we all fall into rough patches in life that can affect these perceptions whether that be redundancy, repossession or divorce , but the important thing is to look at his maturity timeline as a whole.
Does it mirror yours a woman much younger than him , or does it go beyond what you've already learnt from life? I am a Mistress for 9 years with an older man. We see each other everyday and share everything. He is my best friend and the love of my life. I knew up front that he has a family and they take a priority. He treats me with kindness and is very generous. I see us being together till death. You have articulated your situation well.
I wish both of you the very best, and look forward to further updates from you. As you say, let's watch this space: I do find many points in this article to be true. For 7 years I have been with someone 13 years my senior. We have 1 child together, who we adore more than anything but he wants no more cause of his age. He is only I am devastated since I am so young and have so more life still in me. I will Tell my son to never get involved with a younger women no matter how tempting.
My new partner Lilt just posted the above message about us, which came as a positive surprise to me. This motivated me to write a few lines on this site as well. Yes, she is indeed 22 years younger than me, and could be my daughter. On paper, we have very little in common. This is certainly a bit scary for both of us. We have received rather mixed comments from family members and friends.
Most of them are a bit concerned. My oldest daughter 17 years of age had already a chat with my new partner. She was surprisingly positive and happy for her dad. After having spent up to five hours per day on Skype together, I have to admit that I cannot wait to meet her in Johannesburg in three days. She has certainly swept me off my feet. I am so much looking forward to talking to her in person. Please let me clarify that this is not just about sex from either side. I am fully aware of my responsibility as the older person in the relationship, and I know how it may look for bystanders.
Therefore, I will make sure that she is feeling comfortable with whatever happens between us in the future. I have not searched actively for a young person. Previous partners were around the same age usually two years older than me. I have no intention to be a father figure, sugar daddy or a ticket to a potentially better life somewhere else.
Finally, I am also not after a nurse or carer. We will decide together within about ten days how to move matters forward. I hope that we discover sufficient ground for a happy and long-lasting relationship as equal partners. In any case, I am sure that there is already sufficient potential for a life-long friendship.
Exactly over a month ago today, i met an older man online. He's 22yrs older than me but hey I'm not counting. He's the most genuine person I know, honest in all his ways and loves talking to me and making me feel special. He's coming all the way to Africa, i mean that's enough commitment. Yes there's hurdles along our path but we know exactly how we feel about each other. He can still have a family and between us money is no factor and NO I don't need another daddy. After no luck with young men he was a real welcome change. And i am willing to make it work completely.
I was incredibly lucky to be introduced to a man.. Later he did fessed up to doing some reconnaissance to check me out. It has been a wonderful journey, we're both blown away by our similarities in values, family experiences and how we connect; emotionally and intimately,. We have the most enjoyable and fulfilling relationship I've ever experienced. And he says the same. I am 36, dating a 59yo man. I cared deeply for him but he doesn't want to get married again or have anymore children since his are all grown. I think it is wrong for a 50 year old man past his prime to marry a 20 something girl who has barely started out in life.
This is obviously about money and control for the girl most of the time anyways. That to me is weird. I am 46, and there is no way I would someone in their 20's. I am 20 , dating a man 18 years my senior. I really love him and he makes me very happy. The daddy issue is true to some extent, I feel protected and safe around him. The main issue at hand is convincing him that I am totally comfortable with the age gap. We plan on moving to Asia soon but I am still fond of Africa how do I convince him to stay in Africa?
What many people won't tell you is that even if a man is in good physical shape, after 50, many men loose their libido since their testosterone levels drop drastically. It's the same for women after menapause. My fiance' is 22 yrs. I'm 54, she She found and pursued me. I had an issue with the age difference at 1st, but now 6 months later, I don't even see it.
She is not the 1st woman I spoke with of this age. All were from overseas, and all told me young men don't know how to treat a woman, and that is why they pursued older men. Women from overseas are taught to take care of their man, unlike American women. We have common interests, I have a young heart, she, an old soul, and we both feel we have found our soul mates. The author does bring up some valid points, but as someone earlier stated, she's not looking for me as a daddy figure, I don't have money.
She wants a man to love and care for her. To provide stability and protection. It will work, but communication is the 1 thing that has to be addressed for the relationship to work. I am 46 my children are all adults.
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He is not married. I know what my future looks like. I will be there to help him to the bathroom and keep him clean because i love like that. We will all need help some day and that is a FACT. I am 24 and my partner in life is We have been together for almost 6 years and He has been a great blessing in my life.
He understands me in most things, and I understand him. The most difficult thing of dating an older man is that if you ever separate and you are my age, you will not feel the same with guys your age. I've been married twice and both men were are 8 years older. My present husband is 51 and he has no libido. Great hub- good points. Your 3 reasons are crap.
What You Must Know Before Dating an Older Man
You left out the vital one I was looking for.. I recently got involved with a man 14 years my senior. I don't want an older man, don't want his money, don't have daddy issues, no social needs. I just feel for him, we just flow, we just think the same, its just there. While you had a few good splashes in here, intentionally or not, your article comes across extremely degrading to women.
Its all about what we need or get from it.. I am 21 years and my husband is 60 to 61 this year but he is the sweetest man i have ever seen. Sweeter than young men when it come to be bed. Young men lie a lot. I am 21 currently in love with a man 58 years my senior,he is so freakin awesome!
He is so sweet ,and funny,he's simple and country, kinda like me. He calls me his kindred spirit,and we r so close. He is so beautiful. I am 40years old, single with no child, presently in love with a 73years old married man. Though it took me some years to give in but honestly, I don't have any regret that I did. He said to me he has just found his soul mate. I have never experience love this way either, he appreciate everything about me. I am 27 and my boyfriend is I was very slow to let him in my life because I was so concerned with the age difference and the inevitable scrutiny from others.
There was no denying our chemistry and once I let him in, I discovered a whole new world of love I never imagined even existed. We have been getting to know each other for a little over a year, and I have grown and become better thanks for his support. He is a kid at heart, and I have an old soul. He keeps me interested and inspired, and I hope I do the same for him. I have never developed a specific type, especially toward older men, but a lust for excitement and connection.
I never expected to fall in love with a man 3 years younger than my father, but there is no going back. He listens, forgives, does not judge We have so much fun together, and I can't imagine ever growing bored of this one. I know he wont live forever, and I thankful each day to enjoy time with my Silver Fox ;. My husband of 7 years is 61 and I am 37, we have a healthy 5 year old boy.
We give each other space and we share a lot of interests. This is truly the healthiest relationship I have ever had. We seem to match in ever way, even physically. He's still plenty young enough to have children, he has a good job, and he's never been married. Even after meeting online in a video game, crossing literally the entire world, and the age difference, we get on amazingly and we both feel that we're perfect for each other. We plan to marry, and begin to save up more money and have a child together. We share many of the same viewpoints and the age is really not a factor to either of us, it seems to matter more to other people actually.
I have been in a relationship with a man 25 years my senior. As someone who has had her fair share of terrible exes, I was amazed how infatuated I was with him at first. Everything just seemed to click. Now we have a home, a family, and my parents love him, too although he's old enough to be my father. Years later, I can say it was the best decision of my life. But please make that decision with your heart, not your wallet. I got married young to the man I thought I would spend the rest of my life with.
We were both 21 and had been together for five years. After just over two years of marriage he out of the blue decided I was no longer the one for him. I work long hours and away from home a lot which was his reason for leaving. Fortunately we didn't have children and I have my own career. Not long after we separated a man I work with "John" was very kind to me. We had worked together for three years and although I always found him attractive I had never considered him. One night when we both got off early we decided to meet up. Everything was effortless the conversation never stalled, I never felt uncomfortable.
Quite the opposite, I felt exhilarated. Not long after we began seeing each other physically. The sex was the best I've ever experienced. I've never felt love like I do with John. Unfortunately he's 20 years older then I am and stuck in an unhappy marriage.
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I feel terrible sleeping with a married man, but I suppose you can't help who you fall in love with. I don't think age should be a barrier unless you're looking for the wrong things out of a relationship. If you want an older man because he make your whole and happy go for it.
What You Must Know Before Dating an Older Man | PairedLife
If it's for his money you should reevaluate your priorities. The article is so helpful. Yet, the decision of marrying a 24 years older man is suffocating me! I can't imagine myself getting married of a 51 yrs man while I'm still 26!!!! In my society, divorced women doesn't have a variety of options; like me. Getting divorced in a young age made life harder; I stopped dating, I refused socializing, until I realized that I have been living in a cocoon that I have created.
I am a mess right now. Marriages are fixed in my society. I was once fooled and married a man I never knew before because this is how things are here but I had a say in this marriage Thank God. Yet, I were meant to marry him for a reason; lesson learned. Thinking of starting the whole process all over again, is hard to think of. Again, thank for the points u mentioned, really really helpful!
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As they say, a girl marries a guy that reminds her of her father. Girls are used to their father's protection and care. Such a caring and loving attitude is usually found in older men. Men her age typically though not necessarily are as mature or even less mature than herself and are not yet ready to take on the responsibility of a partner. Girls want to grow up fast, and they feel all grown up with an older man who socializes with others his age. Finally, it is easier for younger girls to relate to them. In their early twenties, young girls are still trying to come to terms with their identity.
They are still dealing with their emotions. They need a strong anchor, and a mature man can provide that emotional stability. What's Causing This Trend? What You Must Know Before Dating an Older Man You must consider the following differences before marrying or even getting into a relationship with an older man. He will be less vigorous than your younger self. His emotional needs will differ from yours simply because he is in a different stage of life.
Navigating between the various social circles, including family and friends, can be challenging. Because of this, I believe it is a terrible idea for young girls to fall in love with older men. Why It's a Bad Idea Finally, let's get into some of the problems that a couple may face when the guy is much older. So, I will be very blunt in the list below. If you are having an affair with such a man, physical compatibility could be an issue.
You will be in the prime of your life, and he'll be rapidly approaching the end of his. While you are spending hours in the hospital because he has fallen ill, your friends will be sharing stories about their baby showers and their children's sports activities. If he is married, then you will be his second choice. His wife and his children will always be his top priority. Which is why he is still married and you are his mistress. If he can cheat on his wife with you, he would cheat on you with an even younger girl. If you wish to start a family, there are emotional and physical barriers.
An older man's sperm usually cannot produce healthy babies. Physically he may not be able to do all the activities with your child that are expected of a father. Emotionally, he may not be ready to create competition for his kids from his previous first marriage. How to Make the Relationship Work The benefits of dating an older man are very few, and most fathers would have a hard time if their daughters began to date one. Here are some tips to make your marriage work: This is the number one game-changer in all relationships. Despite all your differences, it is the willingness to talk that keeps the flame burning bright.